Colm Golden, Project Director, Business Aviation NPI, talks about taking paternity leave as a Programme Director.
I joined Rolls-Royce in 2003 as a summer intern when I was studying mechanical engineering at University College Dublin, Ireland. Nearly 18 years later, I find myself living in Berlin, still working for Rolls-Royce as a senior manager, and a father.
In December 2019, Noah arrived, and it has truly been life changing. My wife, Rose, and I waited nearly four years for a child, with multiple miscarriages along the way. We focused on how we wanted to parent - we wanted to be equals, and each take time off during the early stages. I was also promoted to Programme Director and Rose changed career paths. Knowing these changes would bring increased professional demands, we worked to find the right balance for our family life. We decided Rose would take 11 months parental leave and then I would take the rest, until Noah had a full-time place in childcare. Then the pandemic hit…
For 11 months Rose was at home with a baby, alone, during a pandemic, without any family support. A common situation for many in 2020. I needed to make sure I was home enough so Rose also had contact with someone other than Noah. This wasn't always easy. The Pearl 700 programme I’m accountable for delivering was very challenging. Everyone was under a lot of pressure. Was it right for the Programme Director to leave the office at 4.30 or 5pm when most of the team were still working? I had to adapt so I could support the programme to the best of my abilities but continue to have an active role at home. I had to delegate more and make decisions without the level of detail I was accustomed to. This felt very uncomfortable for me, but the right decisions were still made, and the programme continued at the right pace.
As Rose's return to work approached, we still didn't have any childcare secured. So, I applied for my parental leave, not really knowing how long I would be out for. I’m extremely lucky to have an amazing team who all put in the extra effort to make up for my absence.
In the end, I took three months off. I had an incredible time and bonded with Noah in a way that wouldn’t have been possible had I not. It was a big leap to get back up to speed when I came back. I did feel guilty for putting a significant pressure on my team, but there was never any doubt that I would take the time. Someone needed to take care of Noah and it was my turn. I feel very privileged to have had the opportunity, and if the global situation had been different, I would have had no regrets taking longer.
Taking parental leave was not only the right decision for our family, but also something I wanted to do to set the example. I can't imagine a line manager negotiating with an expectant mother about the time they take off so why should it be any different for fathers – whatever stage of their career they’re at? If enough fathers do it, it will become the norm.
Our family continues to navigate equal parenting. We share collecting Noah from childcare, allowing us both to work full days and occasionally socialise with colleagues or do sport. It hasn't all been plain sailing and we do struggle to maintain the work-life balance we want. Ultimately, Rose has been the one who has reduced her working hours to 30 per week and not me, so, while we haven't managed to fully break from the gender norm yet, we are working on it...